True Love on a Full Moon
by HClark
Summary: Jacob's love for Bella cannot push past Bella's fears that one day Jacob will imprint on someone else. -This is a story of what could have happened if Bella had not jumped off the cliff in New Moon.-
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. Please leave honest feedback!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am simply borrowing them from the very talented Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 1**

_Don't think about it. Just JUMP. _I told myself the same thing, over and over again. I knew that this was the only way to get what I needed. The only way to hear him.

I slowly walked to the edge of the cliff._ Not a good idea_. The distance between where I was standing and the ground seemed to grow the longer I stood there. I backed up to the tree line and stumbled over a broken branch, landing on my butt. _Come on Bella. Get it together. _

I knew that as soon as I approached the ledge and stepped off I would hear Edward. Somehow, adrenaline was the key. Or maybe it was stupidity. Either way, as soon as I was in a dangerous situation I could hear him. He was mad, but it didn't matter. He was here. It was like he was standing right behind me.

Of course I knew he wasn't actually there. Surely he didn't actually care whether I got myself hurt. It was just my brains way of giving my heart what it needed. False hope. Maybe I was losing my mind. Maybe I needed to be sent to a mental hospital. I didn't care. This was the only way to make myself believe I still mattered to him.

I took in a deep breathe, ignoring the pain. I hadn't been able to breath right since he left. It was like a hole had been punched in my lungs. And thinking about Edward always made the edges of the hole burn. I closed my eyes and forced them open again. Running to the edge and jumping blind would have been great for some people, but I would never make it. I would either trip and fall before ever making it to the edge, or barely stumble over and fall to my death. And I wasn't trying to kill myself. Not that I hadn't considered it, but I couldn't do that to Charlie. He needed me. And I couldn't imagine the embarrassment he would be subject to if he suddenly became the father of the girl who killed herself.

I squared my shoulders and exhaled. Seven slow, sure steps later I was at the edge, looking straight ahead. I could hear the waves crashing against the cliff and see the clouds rolling in. Dark clouds. Darker than they had been on the drive from the beach over here. There was a storm coming in, and I knew that If I didn't do this now, I never would.

_3.…..2…… What the!?_

Something heavy hit me square in the side and sent my flying. I landed hard on my left shoulder. Tears threatened to break free, partly from pain and partly from anger, as I turned to see just what the hell had ruined my time with Edward.

"BELLA! Just what the hell are you thinking?!" Jacob growled, his body trembling, holding back the urge to transform into a body better equip to deal with his fury.

"Cliff diving!" I shot at him. This whole trip had been his idea and I wanted to hear Edwards voice, whether Jacob was here or not. "Or at least trying to!"

"Have you lost your mind? Look down at that water! It's deadly!"

To be honest I hadn't even thought of the water. I had planned out the jump, the exhilaration of falling through the air, the danger involved. And his voice. I didn't even realize how hard the waves were crashing into the cliff. Each was like a angry demon trying to break away at the rock.

"You could have been killed!… Bella, what were you thinking? I told you I would bring you cliff diving but not in weather like this!"

I didn't know what to say. I could barely register his words. I had been so close to hearing Edward that I could almost feel him near me. The hole in my chest burned like an open flame.

Jacob must have misunderstood the emotions playing out on my face. His fury seemed to have subsided, because when he spoke the tone of his voice had changed. He was no longer angry, he was terrified. "Bella…"

I drug my eyes off the ground, slowly. I was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes, so I settled my gaze on his lips. I could see the torture on his face.

"Bella…were you trying to… were you going to…." I knew what he was going to say, but I couldn't answer yet. Finally he managed to spit it out. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" His voice cracked on the last words and I could have swore I saw a tear roll across his lip. I wanted to reach out to him, but my humiliation held me back.

"No!" I finally squeaked. I was sure he didn't believe me. I didn't know how to tell him the truth, so I settled for a quick excuse. "You said we would do this today! I was looking forward to it. And you were busy so I just…" I stopped. The fury was back. His hands trembled as he held them against his temples, as if he was trying to ease a headache.

"Don't lie to me. That isn't why you came here." He growled. He was no longer my Jacob. I could tell in his voice, in the way he held his body, in every part of him. He was Sam's Jacob now.

I just stared at him. Surely he didn't know the truth. If he knew I was putting my life in danger to hear Edwards voice he would think I was insane. Have me admitted into a hospital. At the very least he wouldn't stick around to watch my pathetic efforts to hold on to my lost love.

"It's him!" My breath caught in my chest. "He left you broken! He destroyed you! And I can't fix you. You won't _let _me fix you. No matter how much I love you, I can't change that."

Before I had a chance to ask him what he thought Edward had to do with cliff diving he started again, "And now you're trying to kill yourself." I could see the heartache in his eyes, but his body still looked rigid and in control.

"Jake that's not…!"

"Stop Bella! Just stop!" More tears were threatening to break free from the corners of Jacobs eyes. I wasn't sure if it was the fear or the fury that brought them on. He turned away from me, so that I couldn't see him cry.

I was causing Jacob pain. My Jake. The pain should only be mine. I shouldn't be sharing it with the only person left who had a chance at making me happy again.

I knew Jacob loved me. That much was obvious. I loved him, too, but not in the way he wanted. I loved him in a way that made me need him. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He had always been my sun. The bright light in an otherwise dark existence. The thought had crossed my mind that maybe it had been more. When his hand touched mine a light spark would fizzle somewhere deep inside me. When he would wrap me in one of his massive hugs I no longer felt I needed to break away after only a few seconds. But I dismissed the thought as quickly as they came. My heart was incapable of love like that. I had given every piece, every last drop of that love to Edward, and he took it with him when he left. No one could ever have that kind of love more than once in a lifetime.

The thought of Edward left me feeling empty and alone again. I sat down on the cold grass, wrapping my arms around my chest. Rain was pelting down now and I could feel a cold shiver run down my back.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob." I was losing it. Tears were freely falling now, and I could barely swallow. My breathing quickened, edging closer to hyperventilating. I hated keeping secrets from Jacob. He was the only person I could confide in and here I was hiding things from him.

But I couldn't risk losing him. If I told him the truth he would hate me. He would think I was using him to hear Edwards voice. In the beginning that may have been more or less true. I needed Jacob to fix the bikes so that I could get back at Edward for breaking his promise. But even in the beginning I enjoyed being with Jake more than anyone else. Now it had nothing to do with Edward. I woke up thinking about Jacob. I counted down the minutes until I knew I would see him again. We had developed into much more than friends, without ever willing it to happen.

"It's raining. You're cold. Let's go." He said each statement threw his teeth. He offered me his hand to help me off the ground, but took it back quickly once I was on my feet. I followed him silently back to the truck.

I jumped in the drivers side of the truck and reached to pull the door shut. It was then I remembered that I landed on my shoulder after Jacob threw me through the air. I winced as the pain shot through my arm. It wasn't broken, but the muscle was probably severely bruised. I couldn't lift it any higher than waist level.

"Bella?" Jacob reached across the truck to stroke the back of my hand. I felt a slight flutter from his gentle touch, and wondered how long that had been happening. To be honest, I hadn't paid attention before. But now that I was thinking about it, his touch did things to me that I hadn't expected. "What's wrong?"

"It's my shoulder. I hit it when I, uh, fell."

Jacob jumped out of his door and ran around to my side of the truck. He checked to see if I was bleeding, and I wasn't. He barely ran his fingers over my shoulder, trying to find the tender spots. Even though he was using the least amount of pressure possible, it still throbbed.

"I need to look at the damage." He looked a little uncomfortable, and I didn't understand why. I expected angry. He had been angry at me on the cliff, and all the way back to my truck. But now he just seemed embarrassed.

It took a moment before I realized he was asking me to take my shirt off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I woke up that morning and wasn't sure what I was supposed to wear. We were cliff diving, but it wasn't the kind of weather you could wear a swimsuit in. So I settled for a pair of thin jeans and a blue long sleeved t-shirt.

Now I wished I would have worn a swimsuit under my clothes. It would have made sense, but I didn't think I would be taking my shirt off.

I reached for the bottom of my shirt, fumbling, trying to find a way to remove it without making the throbbing in my shoulder worse than it already was. I hadn't made it to the water, but the rain had been enough to soak my clothes. They clung to my skin, making it even harder to find a pain free way of exposing my injured shoulder.

"Here," Jacob said, "let me help." He looked more than uncomfortable now. The dark skin on his cheeks flushed pink, and I felt a little better than I wasn't the only one embarrassed. But no matter how we attempted to pull the shirt up, the pain made me cry out.

"I'm going to have to rip the shirt." He said, looking up as if for approval. I just shrugged with my good shoulder. He put very little effort into ripping the shirt, but it gave away easily. Too easily. Instead of only exposing my shoulder, the rip continued down the front of my shirt, exposing most of my bra and all of my stomach. Jacob turned even more red. "I'm sorry!"

But as he looked at me the flush in his face disappeared. I watched the emotions play out on his face. Anger, disgust, and more anger. I didn't understand it at first. Was he disgusted by me? Angry at me? I felt the ache in my heart that only rejection could leave. He was seeing that much of me for the first time, and was disappointed.

No sooner had the tears filled my eyes before I realized he hadn't even seen most of my body. His eyes were fixed on my shoulder. I glanced to see what could be so wrong. Then I saw what he was so upset about. My entire shoulder was discolored. The blue and purple continued from the top of my shoulder down to just above where my bra strap met my bra. Of course, I couldn't see the back, but I knew it was just as bad.

"Bella, I am so sorry!" His voice came out like someone had punched him. I knew then that he was angry with himself, not me.

"Don't worry about it, Jake. I've had worse." He knew just how bad I have had it. He had escorted me on several of my hospital trips.

But Jacobs face was distorted, somewhere between anger and apology. "It's not okay, Bella. I _hurt_ you! I promised myself I would never hurt you! _Damn it!" _

"I know you didn't mean to, Jake. You were stopping me. Stopping me from doing something stupid. If you hadn't been there the damage could have been much worse." For a fraction of a second his face paled white, and then returned to normal color. I know he was imagining finding me a few minutes later, after I had jumped. I don't know what he saw, but it brought back a little of the irritation from before.

"Lets go back to my house. You should put some ice on your shoulder. And take some pain reliever. Scoot over." He was back to being angry. I slid over to the passenger side and leaned my head against the window. He jumped in the drivers seat and started my truck.

It had been a very long day. First, I woke up thinking I would be spending the day with Jacob. When he took off with the pack on a vampire hunt, my heart sank. I was alone. I also thought I would get a chance to hear Edward's voice, and that didn't happen either. _But it's not really Edwards voice, _something in my head reminded me. _Edward's not here. And he's not coming back. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I shivered, thinking about just how bad the day was turning out to be. Not only were the edges to the holes in my lungs burning like they were on fire, but now Jacob was angry with me, too.

"You're cold…" he said. "Come here." He placed his arm on the back of the seat, urging me to move closer to him. I did so, without argument. I was used to being close to Jacob. It didn't feel romantic, exactly. It was just the way things had always been. We held hands. We hugged. We sat close to each other. I was used to his arm being around me. And I enjoyed it.

"Jacob… I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"Then what were you trying to do?" he asked, incredulously.

I knew I wasn't ready to tell him the truth. But I also knew I would have to do it eventually. "I don't know."

But I did know what I was doing. I was holding on to a man that didn't want me anymore. I was still allowing him to own my heart. I hated to admit those things. Even to myself. But it was true. Jacob was right, I wasn't trying to heal. I didn't believe I could be healed, but I wouldn't know if I continued to chase after a memory.

I knew that it would be easy to let Jacob into my heart. Everything between us had always been easy. I would have to tell him everything. I would have to tell him just how damaged I was. The voices, the nightmares. All of it. I would have to explain to him that some of the damaged to my heart could never be truly healed. I could tell him that I would try to love him that way, but no promises. And I knew that despite all of the things wrong with me, he would accept me.

I leaned my head against his shoulder. Of course he was shirtless. Most of the pack never bothered with shirts. Especially when they are on patrol. Jacob was an attractive man. I knew that. Any girl who saw him knew that. He was near six and a half feet and all muscle. His muscles weren't built like a body builder. They weren't there for attention. They were more like the muscles of a man who truly worked. They pushed from underneath the skin in all the right places. My eyes lingered across his abs and I realized that they, too, were perfect. I ran my finger along his stomach, marveling. "That tickles, ya know?"

I sat back, blushing. I hadn't really meant to touch him that way. When I looked back at his face, my Jacob was back. His warm smile spread across his face and I felt my heart jump. My body was reacting in ways I never noticed before.

_My Jacob._ I knew that I had no official claim to him. He was only _my _Jacob in _my_ mind. And only I had the power to change that.

I scooted a little closer to him. Ignoring the pain, I laid my head back down on his shoulder. He smelled wonderful, like no cologne could ever actual capture. Warm and earthly. I spent the rest of the ride back to his house like that.

Jacob pulled up in front of his house and put the truck in park. He started to open the door, and I grabbed his hand to stop him. "Jacob I…" _Breath. _"Hold on for a second… can we talk?"

"Sure Bells," He turned to face me full on, taking both of my hands in his. "How's the shoulder? Does it hurt?"

"No, no, I'm fine. A little sore, but I will be fine. I just bruise easy." Actually, it throbbed, but I didn't want to talk about my injury. It took me several moments before I could form the words in my head.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong? Talk to me. You can tell me anything."

And there it was. The way he looked at me. The honesty in his words when he said that. It was like seeing daylight after being in the dark too long. He had always been my personal sun.

The words no longer mattered. I wouldn't get them right anyways. I leaned forward as gracefully as possible with one arm and kissed him. Of course, I lost my balance. Jacob caught me and pulled me into his lap, never taking our lips apart. The kiss had started out soft, but as he caught onto my mood he crushed his lips into mine. He had both hands on the back of my neck and was holding me tight. I pushed even harder into him, savoring the feeling. It wasn't like any kiss I'd ever had. My heart accelerated and I could feel his do the same. After several minutes I finally broke my lips free and sat back to look him in the eyes.

"Bella?" Jacobs expression was confused, but happy. "Please explain."

"I don't know, Jake. I know I've been in a… A bad place for a long time."_ Breathe._ "You've been the only person who could make me happy. You're my best friend."

"That wasn't a best friend kind of kiss, Bells." Jacob chuckled.

"I know. It's just that… I don't know… lately it's like…." I just couldn't get the words to come out right. I knew how I felt, but I didn't know how to explain it to him. I had been the one keeping things strictly platonic up until now. "Jake, I've always wanted to be with you. You're my best friend. It just seems like now I want to be with you in a different way." I felt the blush flood my face. I quickly looked down at the truck seat, hoping he'd missed it. "I guess I should have asked you how you felt first."

Jacob didn't answer. I felt the embarrassment sneak up on me, flooding my cheeks with red. I knew that if he didn't want me, and I had just made a huge fool out of myself, I would never be able to face him again.

I was beginning to panic when Jacob finally said, "Bella."

I turned to look into his eyes, to try to seek out what he was thinking when his lips were suddenly against mine again. I began to argue when he ended the kiss after only a moment. Then I felt his lips on my neck, kissing me all the way from beneath my ear to my chin. Then he let out a noise that could only be described as a giggle. "Bella, I have been waiting so long for you to feel this way."

Jacob wrapped his arms around me, careful of my injured shoulder, and held me that way for several long moments before he finally said. "I love you, Bella. You know that. And I know you love me, too, even if you aren't ready yet. I will be here for you. I will be whatever you need me to be. If that means your best friend, then I will be that. If it means your boyfriend, I will be that. I need you, Bella. Just tell me what you want me to be, and I will be it.

For the first time in a long time, a door into my heart was opening. I kissed Jacob on the neck, and then whispered into his ear, "Boyfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Boyfriend!?_ Is that what she just said? I was trying to stop my head from spinning. Bella was kissing _me! _Bella's soft lips were on _my _neck. And I'm sure that she just asked me to be her boyfriend.

I had waited so long for her. I loved Bella from day one. Our dads were best friends, but she lived with her mom. I remember seeing her a few times, but mostly I just heard stories. Then that day on the beach, at the bonfire, was when I really saw her for the first time. She was sitting across from me, with several other girls. She looked at me across the fire and I nearly melted into her warm brown eyes. She hardly even noticed Sam, who was closer to her age, or Quil, who always seemed to get the girls. No, she looked at me! And then, when we walked down the beach I thought for sure I was dreaming. She asked a lot of strange questions, but she seemed pretty into me.

Of course, now I know that she was just looking for information about _him._ I hate to think that's the only reason she asked me to take a walk with her. Maybe I should ask her. Maybe I don't really want to know.

Bella was still sitting on my lap where she fell when she kissed me. I could feel her body against mine. I had dreamed about holding her this way for so long. I reached up and pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. She grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. _Where is all this coming from? _I had never seen this side of Bella before.

"Are you ready to get your shoulder taken care of?" I asked. I hated to move, but I knew she was in pain. And it was my fault. I hadn't even realized I was using that much pressure until I hit her. And then I was so angry at myself for it, but she didn't act like she was in pain. I was just so scared. I saw her standing on the ledge, at the completely wrong angle. Even on a perfect day, from where she was jumping could have killed her.

I was always afraid of hurting Bella. She was just so fragile. We had all seen what happened to Emily. She will carry her scars for the rest of her life. And Sam will spend the rest of his life in regret. They seem to manage well, but I know it hurts him. Sometimes he slips and thinks about it in wolf form. Especially when we have a new wolf, or when one of us is spending a lot of time around humans who don't know.

"Jake, my shoulder is fine. I just need to take some pain meds. Nothing to worry about." She was trying to make me feel less guilty. I could see it in her eyes. She was in a lot of pain, but trying to hide it from me.

"Nope. I'm going to take good care of my girlfriend." I said. I looked at her to see her reaction. She was blushing. Shy Bella. I grabbed her good hand and pulled it to me, lifting her in my arms. I carried her in the house like that.

Dad was in the living room when we walked it. He took one look at Bella in my arms and smiled. I set Bella down on the floor, and before she could turn around Dad gave me a wink. He knew exactly how I felt about Bella. He might not be a werewolf, but sometimes you didn't need to read someone's mind to know how they feel.

"Hi Billy!" She said, still blushing. "It's good to see you."

"You, too, Bella." He said. "I see Jake here has finally made you see how good a man he is, huh?"

"Dad!" I said, chuckling.

"I always knew how good a man he is, Billy. I just…," She paused. I stopped breathing. She just _what?_

"….I just haven't been good enough for him for a long time."

I finally exhaled and looked at her. She didn't think she was good enough for me? Wow.

"Bella, you're more than good enough for me," I grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and placed it on Bella's shoulder, then sat down beside her. She snuggled into my side and I felt my heart do flips. I tickled her on the sides a bit, and when she jumped I pulled her into my lap, just like I planned.

Bella looked at Billy, like she was waiting to be scolded. Instead, Dad just laughed. "Don't worry about me, kids. I'm on my way down to Harry and Sue's." He turned and began to wheel his chair out the door. "Behave while I'm gone!" he chuckled.

Bella relaxed a little when we were alone. She rested her head on my bare shoulder. I could feel her warm breath on my neck and my body instantly began to react. I had dreamed of Bella in my arms many times. Holding her, kissing her, making love to her…

"Bella," I said, before my body could embarrass me. She was sitting on my lap, after all.

"Uh huh,"

"What is it that made you change your mind?"

I felt her body tense and she pulled away from me a little. I held her tight, not wanting to let her leave my arms. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, no," she said, "We need to talk about it. You deserve to know all of it." She pulled herself off my lap and sat beside me on the couch, legs crossed, looking straight at me. I held both of her hands in mine. Now that I was allowed to hold her, it was hard to let her slip away.

I took a deep breath and braced myself for what was coming. I knew _he _was going to be involved. I already hated him for what he had done to her. I exhaled. "Go ahead, honey. Whatever it is, just tell me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_He asked for it_, I thought.

I started by telling him about my 18th birthday party. And then about Edward leaving me in the woods and taking everything and everyone in his family with him. He flinched when I told him about chasing Edward into the woods. I know he was seeing me through Sam's eyes laying on the forest floor. I told him about the two weeks I don't remember, right after Edward left me. He remembered that, too. He'd been there to see me, he said. Twice. I tried to remember him being there, but all I could remember from that time was the pain. I told him about Charlie's threat to send me back to Renee's, and my reasons for not wanting to go.

I stopped talking, and focused on breathing. The hard part was coming and my heart felt like it was trying to pound it's way out of my chest.

Jacob went to the kitchen and brought back to sodas and a couple pain pills. He handed mine to me, and drank his soda in two big gulps. I took my pills and set my soda can on the floor in front of the couch. I looked into his face, trying to ascertain his mood. His face was expressionless and I wondered what he was thinking. I considered not telling him about the voices when he took my hand and softly kissed my palm. "Go on," he said. I know hearing me talk about Edward was hard, but he seemed to sense that I needed to get it all out.

I told Jacob about my trip to the movies with Jessica, and about the men in the alley. I told him what Edwards voice said to me and he gasped. I looked up at his face and he was furious and shaking.

_Here we go. He thinks I'm insane. He is never going to want to see me again._ Tears pricked at my eyes and I blushed bright red. I waited for his anger to break and for him to call me out on my insanity. But instead he growled, "Bella, those men could have been dangerous. They could have killed you!"

_That's what he was worried about? He isn't going to call me crazy?_ I continued.

I told Jacob about my promise to keep myself safe, and my reasons for wanting to break that promise. When I told him about finding the bikes I saw a flash of pain sweep across his face.

"So you brought the bikes to me so I could help you break your promise to Edward." He said it as a statement, not a question. The pain in his eyes was obvious.

"Yes, originally, but Jake, I promise you it wasn't like that. As soon as I saw you I knew it was more. You always made me feel better, feel whole again. You made me happy. I always loved spending time with you. I loved you, even then. It wasn't the kind of love you wanted, but I still loved you. So I spent as much time with you as I could." I took another deep breath. "And then I heard his voice again."

Jake looked down at his hands while I continued.

"It wasn't all the time… Just when I was doing something dangerous. It was like he was angry at me for doing something that could put my life in danger."

"Like riding the bikes?" Jake asked. "And cliff diving." My tears were spilling over now, and I could tell he was holding his back.

"Yea," I hung my head, waiting for the lashing.

His voice wasn't what I expected. It wasn't angry, only deeply pained. "But Bella, why? I love you and I'm right here. Why do you have to chase after him when he doesn't even care?"

_ That was exactly what I had been asking myself, _I thought.

"You're right, Jake. And I know that now. I don't know why I've held on so long." I was losing it. Any moment now and I wouldn't be able to manage words. " Jake, I'm done now! I don't want to hear him anymore. I know I will never forget him, but I will get over him. I have to, because Jacob I want to love you the way you love me. I want to give you every piece of my heart." The sobs were uncontrollable now.

Jacob wrapped his big, warm arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Shh… Bella, honey, it's okay. It's alright. Calm down…" he whispered in my ear.

"It's… not… okay, Jake," I sobbed, "Its not right! I've hurt you!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It wasn't a lie. It did hurt me that she was still holding on to him. I didn't like to think about that leech touching her. I didn't like to think about him holding her.

But here she was, in _my _arms, worried that I wasn't going to want her. Crazy. I always wanted her. If that means I come second choice to a bloodsucker, oh well. I will deal with it.

"Bella, look at me." She wouldn't. I had to pull her chin up so she would look me in the face. I held my hand on her cheek, reveling in the soft skin.

When she first came to the reservation Bella had been a mess. She was in her own personal hell for a long time. You could see it in her eyes. They had looked slightly hollow, and always tired. The difference between the Bella who stumbled into my house a few months ago, and the Bella who sat in my lap now was remarkable. The old Bella, before the leech nearly destroyed her, was slowly coming back. I liked to think I had something to do with that. If she was going to finally let me in her heart, I was going to do everything possible to make her happy again.

I stared into her beautiful brown eyes. She truly was stunning. Her skin was like soft porcelain. Her long brown hair hung down to her mid back, but was typically tied in a ponytail. Classic Bella. She wasn't a high maintenance kind of girl, which I appreciated.

I wiped away the tears that were still falling down her face. "Bella, I love you. I know you're in pain. I know that he hurt you in ways I may never be able to fully heal. But please, Bella, let me try! Let me love you!" I knew my own tears would defy me soon, so I pulled her close and rested her head against my chest.

We sat that way for a long time. I wasn't sure what to say, so I just held her, stroking her hair. For a while she cried, and I wondered if she was thinking of him. I didn't ask.

"Jacob," she said, breaking the silence, "I'm going to try. I want to love you the way you need me to. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if my heart will let me. But I need you. Please, don't give up on me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The tears were finally starting to dry on my face. I felt like an idiot breaking down in front of Jacob that way. Be he just held me, stroking my hair. Each time my sobs broke through my threshold he would pull me in, soothing me. I had been so scared he was going to reject me. Instead he was sweet; understanding. It was different than I was used to. Jacob was always the one to crack a joke to break the tension, or to tease me just to see me blush. And since he became a werewolf, every mention of the Cullens, or any vampire, made him shake with fury. But today he just listened and embraced me. Jacob was exactly what I needed in my life.

"How's your shoulder?" he asked, sliding my torn shirt back to look at the damage. The pain killers were beginning to work on the throbbing, but it was going to be sore for a while.

"It's not bad," I told him.

"Let me find you a shirt to wear. It won't fit, but it will be better than that torn one." He slid me off his lap and took the few steps into his bedroom. He came back with a red flannel button up. He was right, it wasn't going to fit. But it would be warmer.

I struggled to get out of my shirt, but couldn't manage it without lifting my shoulder. Jacob came over and sat back down beside me. "Let me help."

He ripped the shirt the rest of the way down the front and slowly slid each of my arms out. I felt self-conscious sitting in his living room shirtless. Jacobs eyes roamed over my half naked body, and I wished I had worn a better bra. Or that I owned a better bra. I don't even own one with lace. But he must have liked what he saw, because a huge Jacob-y smile broke out across his face. With one finger he traced a circle around my belly button, making me shiver.

"Cold?" he asked, grinning.

"No…" I wasn't. My whole body was on fire.

Jacob continued running his fingers along my stomach and sides. It tickled and felt amazing all at the same time. With one hand planted on my waist he used the other to follow the line just below my bra. Sparks shot through my skin everywhere he touched. His hand continued up, grazing over the outside of my bra before he slid one bra strap down my arm. Kisses followed the line where the strap had been. My whole body quivered as his warm lips met my body. "You're beautiful, Bella." he said.

"Jake…" breathless… "uh, lets not do this here." It took every ounce of power I had to stop him. My body was aching for him to keep going.

Jake chuckled, clearly amused by my reaction. "You're so cute when you blush."

Of course, that caused an even deeper red to sink into my face. I playfully smack his arm, "help me with this shirt.

"But the last thing I want to do is put a shirt _on _you."

This was the Jake I knew. It felt comfortable to fall back into our usual teasing. I was afraid that when we crossed the line between friendship and romance, we would lose that.

Jacob helped me get dressed. I was thankful that he had thought to grab a button up shirt, which made it a lot easier to put on. I rolled up the arms enough that my hands were free and tied a knot in the bottom. Still, much to big, but I liked it.

"Mmm…" Jacob mumbled, eying me. I was sure he was going to tease me about the ten times too big shirt, but instead he said, "If I hadn't seen you without a shirt, I would have thought nothing looked better on you."

"Sure… nothing says sexy like flannel." I rolled my eyes.

"Bella, you can make anything look sexy. Besides, I love seeing you in _my _shirt." He pulled me back into his lap for another kiss.

Kissing Jacob was like nothing I had ever experienced. With Edward it was different. Different because he was hard as a statue and icy cold. Different because after only a short time he would pull away, afraid of hurting me. Jacob didn't have to be afraid of hurting me. My lips held their own against his and our movements synchronized instinctively. I felt his mouth open and I followed suit, tracing my tongue along his lower lip, savoring the taste of him. I laid my body across him, one leg on either side of his hips, pressing my body into his. He moaned into my mouth, his voice sending vibrations through my entire body.

Suddenly he grabbed me by the waist, pushing me across the couch until I was on my back and he was laying on top of me, careful not to crush me under his weight. I could feel his body heat soak into every inch of me, but I wanted more. My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me as he kissed down my chest where I had left the first two buttons unbuttoned. Using one hand, he undid another of the buttons, pulling the shirt aside to kiss the top of my breast.

Jacob looked up, his eyes meeting mine, and I felt a sudden rush of passion flood through me.

I wasn't prepared for these feelings to be so overwhelming. On one hand I wanted Jacob to keep undressing me, and to keep kissing every inch of my body. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, and give into the craving. Jacob was sexy, and willing, and _mine. _

On the other hand, I knew that I wasn't ready. I had never been with anyone, not even close, but I knew that those actions always came with consequences. Jacob was my best friend, and quickly becoming much more, but I wasn't ready to give my body over to him. We had only just crossed the line between friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. I wasn't ready to go from that to lovers.

"Jake, hold on." I breathed. He kissed me a few more times, soft and romantic and looked into my eyes. "I'm not ready to go… there. Not yet." I blushed red again. I was doing that a lot today.

"Oh, Bella. I know. I'm not trying to push you. I just can't get enough of kissing you," he said, kissing below my ear again. "I've been waiting so long to be allowed to do this."

I signed, content. He must have misunderstood because his face distorted with worry, "Is this too much, Bella? I can stop. I swear I don't want to do anything you don't want to do."

"No, no, this is good." He chuckled at my quick response and went back to kissing along my neck.

We were caught up in another long kiss when I heard the door open and Billy chuckle. "Now now, kids. I told you to behave."

My face burned from the embarrassment as Jacob sat up, pulling me along with him. I quickly buttoned my shirt back up, afraid to look Billy in the face.

"Great timing, Dad. Knock next time, why don't you!" I slapped Jake's arm, even more embarrassed by his implications.

"Be easy on him, Bella. He's been pining over you for a long time. I'm just glad the kid is finally going to stop moping around all the time. Of course, now the pack can deal with him." Billy teased.

It took me a second to understand Billy's joke. What did the pack have to do with it? And then… oh no! I forgot that when they were in wolf form they could speak to each other, and see the things that each other has seen. Mortified, I buried my head in Jacobs chest. I would never be able to face them again.

As if Billy himself were reading my mind he asked, "Coming to the bonfire tonight, Bella? We'd love to have you there." I wasn't sure if he was sincere or just teasing again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I wanted to smack dad for embarrassing Bella. I was _finally_ getting somewhere and he was threatening to run her off. But as usual, Bella surprised me.

"I'll be there, Billy. But you may have to put up with me kissing your son while I'm there." She looked up at me, still pink faced, but holding her own with my dad. I had to give her credit, some people would have crawled under a rock.

"Dad's going to put up with it, all right," I shot him a 'shut up now' look. He just grabbed the tv remote and started flipping through channels, clearly done with his comedy routine.

Bella wanted to go home and get ready for the bonfire, so I walked her out to her car. As I watched her pull down the lane I thought of all the changes that had happened today. Before today I thought I knew Bella pretty well. I thought I understood the pain she went through when he left, but I didn't. I felt like I didn't know her at all. Now she was finally opening up to me, explaining just how hard it had been. It wasn't all easy for me to hear, but very important. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her.

I took off toward the line of trees closest to the house. I'd spent the last few hours will Bella, so I needed to check in with the pack. Earlier in the day we were chasing after a bloodsucker by the name of Victoria, but she took off into the water, dodging us again. She was fast, _very _fast, and seemed to have a knack for evasion. We were taking turns running patrols, checking for new scents. Embry had offered to run my patrols when he saw Bella on the cliff through my visions. The wave of terror that swept over me had worried the whole pack, and I was sure they would want to know what happened. Just under the dark canopy of the trees I slipped out of my jeans and transformed in one fluid motion. I left the pants there, knowing that would be where I ended my route.

I was glad to sense that Embry was the only other one in wolf-form. He and I had always been close friends, so It was easier sharing my thoughts with him. He judged less and offered a ear to vent to when I was upset. Most of the guys tried to understand how I felt about Bella, but still held thoughts of disgust deep inside their minds. They didn't understand how I could be head over heels about someone who had loved a bloodsucker.

"Jacob, man, what's going on? We were worried! You didn't change back. Is everything okay?"

"Yea… everything's great." My mind slipped off to the events of the day. I felt Embry soaking up everything that flashed through my memory.

"That's great, Jake. I'm glad it's finally working out for you!" I could tell Embry honestly didn't hold any of Bella's past against her. "Do you think she'll get completely over him eventually? Do you think you could be the one for her?"

I saw where his head was going, but I tried to ignore it. He was referring to imprinting, something our legends say happened rarely but was life altering. None of us knew exactly how it worked, because the only one to have imprinted was Sam, and he wasn't offering any advice. It had something to do with intense connections that brought two people together, sometimes even before they know each other. The first time Sam saw Emily he knew she was 'the one'. It wasn't a choice for him. And she didn't need to make the choice. Sam was perfect for Emily. They would life happily ever after. But Sam had been with someone before Emily, and she ended up broken hearted. Leah, Harry and Sue's daughter, was Sam's high school girlfriend, and they were madly in love. But when Sam changed into a wolf he couldn't tell Leah anything about it. She started to worry that there was something wrong and brought her cousin into town for support. Leah's cousin, Emily, met Sam, and nothing else in the world matter, including Leah.

I answered Embry's unasked question, "I don't know, Em. I don't know why I haven't imprinted. I love her, I do. She's the only girl I've ever wanted. I wish there was some way to make it happen."

"Maybe it will…" I knew he doubted it, even as he said it. From what all our legends said, it was a love-at-first-site kind of thing. And I'd seen Bella a thousand times. But there was no way I could love someone more than I loved Bella.

"She's coming to the bonfire tonight, to hear all the old stories."

"Cool! Maybe she will understand why we do what we do."

"I hope so…" My thoughts trailed off. I was thinking about the vampires that our ancestors hunted and killed. Many of the early wolves had died in the attempt. I couldn't deny that the Cullen's were a different kind of vampire. Over the years they never hunted humans on our land, and from what I hear they never hunted them anywhere. '_Vegetarians' _they called themselves. It went against their nature. Vampires went against nature. How Bella could ever _love _something dead and inhuman…

"Jake, give it up. What matters now is she wants to move on. And she wants to be with you!"

"I know, I know" I grumbled. We finished our route and headed back home. I grabbed my jeans set just in the tree line and headed into my house.

I had about two hours before sunset and the bonfire would begin. I took a quick shower and got dressed in my nicest clothes, a pair of barely ripped jeans and a button up shirt. I had insisted that I pick Bella up, even though we were coming back to the reservation. _"A date!" _I had said. And to be honest, it was my first date. Sure, I checked girls out before. I'd even flirted with several of the girls at school. But I wasn't interested enough in any of them to distract me from my car projects or hanging out with the guys. And girls weren't that interested in me until I started growing at an unbelievable rate. Now that I was tall and my muscles had filled out, I noticed girls checking me out all the time. But none of them held a light to Bella.

I jumped in my Rabbit and took off to Bella's house. Her dad's cruiser was sitting in the driveway when I pulled up. _I wonder if she told him we're dating? _Charlie wasn't the emotional type, anyways. He wouldn't care. But he was important to me. Charlie and Billy were best friends and I spent a lot of time hanging out with them growing up. When Billy was in his car accident and wound up in his wheel chair Charlie was there every day helping him, and helping me adjust to our new life. He was like a second dad to me. But now I was dating his daughter, and I wondered how he would feel about that.

"Hey Jake," Charlie said when I walked in the door. "I hear Bella's going with you to a bonfire?"

"Yea, all of us are getting together down by the shore." I said. "Is that okay?"

"Yea, yea it's fine," he said, impassively.

Bella came bouncing down the stairs, tripping on the last few steps. I reached out just in time for her to fall into my arms. It had only been a few hours since I'd seen her, but It was too long. I touched my lips to hers, soaking in her beauty. She was still wearing my flannel button up shirt, only she'd put another shirt underneath. "What? It's warm," she said, catching me admiring.

"Bella, Jake, what's going on?" Uh oh, I forgot about Charlie.

"Oh, uh… well Dad, Jake and I are, well," she looked at me for backup.

"Charlie, Bella and I are dating now. Is that okay with you?" I asked, suddenly terrified that he was going to say no.

"Jake, it's okay, but can I talk to you for a second? Alone. In the kitchen. Bella, how about you finish getting ready. We'll only be a minute."

Bella looked at her dad like he had grown a second head. "Dad!"

"I just need to talk to the boy, Bella."

Bella rolled her eyes and took off up the stairs. My hands were starting to sweat as I realized I was no longer talking to Charlie, my dads best friend, my second dad. Now I was talking to my new girlfriends father; Chief Swan. The distinction was crystal clear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Charlie let me into the kitchen and motioned for me to sit down in one chair, while he plopped down in the other. He was more relaxed now, making it more difficult to determine what he was thinking. "What's up, Charlie?" I asked.

"What's going on, Jacob? Yesterday you were just friends and now all of a sudden you're dating? What changed?"

"I don't know, really. She just said she was ready to move on from, ya know, _him._ Charlie, I'd never hurt Bella. I want to make her happy. I really care about her."

"I know ya do, Jake. I'm just worried about her." He stood up and began pacing a path through the kitchen. His face was pulled together in the middle, almost like he was fighting back tears.

"What's wrong, Charlie? I thought you'd be happy for us." I wondered what was bothering Charlie. Was it that Bella was dating someone or was it that she was dating _me? _Was it just my imagination that he and I had a good relationship. What did he really think about me?

"No, that's not what I mean…" Charlie looked me straight in the face for the first time since entering the kitchen. Charlie was definitely fighting tears. Out of the blue he crossed the kitchen and stood directly in front of me. For a second I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he wrapped his arms around me in a huge hug. "Thank you, Jacob."

I froze, completely taken by surprise. This wasn't like Charlie. I'd never seen him hug anyone. "For what? What are you talking about?" I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him.

He pulled back, blushing. _That's where Bella gets it, _I thought. He crossed the room and stood leaning against the counter. He looked embarrassed and slightly ashamed for tearing up in front of me. "I didn't think I would ever get her back."

"Who Charlie? Bella? What are you talking about? I don't understand… I'm not trying to take her from you. What's wrong?" I didn't like seeing him fall apart this way. Charlie was a strong man, stronger than most, and I didn't know what could be so bad that it would bring him to tears.

"She's been sick, Jake. When he left her it was, well it wasn't normal." I know who he was talking about. I sensed his distaste for the bloodsucker was as strong as mine. "I didn't know what to do. I tried everything! She wouldn't talk to me, not really. She just acted, well, dead. She's been getting better since she's been spending time with you. But today, Jacob, when she walked into this house I had my daughter back. She had life back in her eyes. She even joked with me a little. I owe you for that Jacob. I owe you for giving me my daughter back." It was the longest speech I'd ever heard him give. And it meant more to me than he would ever know.

"I know, Charlie. She's getting better. I want to help her… I love her. You know that, don't you?" I had a feeling Charlie saw more than anyone gave him credit for.

"Yea, I know. Just take care of her… you're good for her. I can't think of anyone I would rather her be with. You've always been like a son to me, Jacob. Now, well, maybe someday you will be." He grabbed a bag of pretzels and headed back into the living room. "Just not too soon, 'kay Jake? Oh, and don't tell her we talked about this."

I stayed in the kitchen for a bit, trying to comprehend what had happened. Charlie was more or less giving me the okay to, what, _marry Bella?_ It was too good to be true! I knew Bella wasn't ready for that… If she was I would find a way to put a ring on her finger right away…. But it was good to know that when the time came it would be okay with Charlie.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The storm had passed as quickly as it came. By dusk the clouds had thinned, and the setting sun cast a orange glow across the sky. But like most storms, it left a heavy feel to the air. It was almost like an invisible fog… you could feel it, sense it, but couldn't see it.

I sat in the passenger seat of Jacobs car, nervous about going to the bonfire. He had explained before leaving my house that it wasn't just a casual gathering, but more like a tribal meeting. The elders told stories about the early days of the wolves and the present day wolves discussed what needed to be done to protect everyone in the tribe. I don't know when it happened, but Jacob felt much older than sixteen. He had more responsibilities than most adults, and handled them better, too. It made me think about my position in my family. With Renee I was always acting as the adult, trying to lead her through life unscathed. My mother was juvenile at times, and I was always taking care of her. I never minded, really. I love her and I don't want to see her harmed. It was similar with Charlie. He had handled living on his own okay, but once I moved in I took over the housework and the cooking. He depended on me. They both did.

It would be nice to have someone to take care of me sometimes, rather than the other way around. Jacob could do that, and I trusted him enough to allow him to take the reigns. In many ways he already was taking care of me. If he hadn't been there to help me after Edward left, I don't know that I would have survived. And I certainly wouldn't be as happy as I was with Jacob in my life.

It's true what they say about the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like that was exactly where I was. I had been in a very dark tunnel for too long. I couldn't see or feel the things around me. But Jacob stood in front of me, holding out his hand, glowing like the sun itself. If I just took his hand, I could go into the warm light and be happy.

"We're here! Are you ready?" Jacob broke me from my trance.

"Who all is going to be here?" I asked as we walked down the thin path to the fire pit. It was the same place I had come with friends last year, when I first met Jacob.

"Well, Billy and Harry will be here. And Sam, Emily, Embry, Quil, Jared, Paul, Seth, Collin and Brady. There may be others, but I doubt it. We aren't supposed to tell anyone unless it's necessary."

"Are they _all _werewolves?" I asked, shocked. Last I knew there were only five of them.

"No, not yet." Jacobs face was drawn together, as if in pain.

"But they will be?" I didn't understand why it bothered him so much.

"Yea, probably. They are in the direct bloodline to change. And now that the change is in progress, there is no stopping it. Even if there were no vampire threats toward the tribe they would probably still change. But it doesn't look like our threats are going anywhere."

After all the events that had happened, I completely forgot the reason Jacob wasn't with me on the cliff. My breath caught in my chest, and I felt like I couldn't make my heart keep beating. The fear ripped through me like a knife. I stumbled to the nearest tree and leaned against it, hoping I could keep my feet underneath me just long enough to pull it back together.

"Bella! What's going on? Honey what's wrong?" Jacob asked, pulling me into his chest. I let my legs give up, falling into him.

"Victoria," I choked on the name as it cross my lips.

Jacob's face flashed angry. "She took off into the water. We couldn't stop her."

"She'll be back, Jacob. She won't give up until she kills me."

"Bella, no one is going to hurt you! I promise you we will take care of her." That was exactly my fear. Jacob and his pack were going to get themselves hurt, or even worse, trying to 'take care of her'.

"Jake, no, you can't go near her! She's so strong! If someone got hurt…if _you_ got hurt… trying to protect _me_… I just couldn't live with that!" My body was trembling with terror now. The only thing that scared me more than Victoria herself was losing Jacob.

"We can handle it, Bells. That's what we're made for." He said, as if it was simple. He didn't seem afraid at all. "Besides, we're not just protecting you. That's _my_ main goal, but the rest of the pack look at it as protecting the whole tribe. It's our job to protect everyone."

I couldn't stop the tremors. I still couldn't imagine Jake, even in his wolf form, going up against Victoria. I'd seen what vampires could do… I'd even been on the bad end of a vampire attack. The wolves may be huge and strong, but they were still human, for the most part. They could still lose blood. They could still have broken bones. They could still _die. _"Jacob, please don't… I can't lose you…"

"Bella…. Shh. It's alright. I promise, I will always come back to you. No matter what, I will come back to you. I love you, Bells." Jacob held me against his chest as he burrowed his face into my neck. I could feel his warm breath on my skin and it helped to relax the fear. After several long moments the shaking slowly ended. I felt better, safer, wrapped in Jacobs arms.

I looked up into his deep brown eyes, getting swept away by the love radiating from him. I leaned in to kiss him, slowly parting my lips, and I felt his tongue run along my upper lip. It sent a wave of shudders through my body, much different than the ones I had just suffered from. This was a jolt of pleasure, of passion. I clung to his neck, deepening the kiss, and I felt him run his hands slide down my waist, onto my butt. He lingered there for a moment, pausing, before he pulled me up to his height. I wrapped my legs around his body as he backed me into the same tree I had just leaned on for support. His lips once again ran down my neck, onto my chest, and back up again. He settled on the spot just behind my ear that seemed most sensitive, sending shockwaves pulsing into my body. I ran my hands through his shoulder length hair pulling slightly. He moaned, returning to my lips for another fiery kiss.

I pulled back slightly, afraid that if we didn't show up at the bonfire soon someone would come looking for us. It was not a position I wanted to be caught in. Again. "Bonfire?"

He growled. "Do we have to?"

"I don't know, it's your friends." I smirked. "We could just leave now…"

"No… you're right. We need to go. They're expecting us. Besides, Sam would have be on 24 hour duty if I didn't show up. And then when would I get to see you?"

I knew he was teasing, but the idea scared me non the less. "Well we can't have that! Let's go."

I held his hand as we walked the last bit of path to the fire pit.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Jacob reassured me that facing the others in the pack wouldn't be a humiliating experience. He explained that although they already knew everything that had happened between us, and they had been able to see it through Jacob's memory, they will be discrete. "They all have things they wish they could keep to themselves, too. We just respect each other's privacy as much as possible."

"I know… It's just really embarrassing. I just wish some things could be kept secret. Are you sure they won't say anything?

"I don't know that they won't say _anything…_ you know how they are. Quil especially. He's been thinking about seeing you without a shirt for a long time." Jacob winked at me.

I felt the blood rush to my face and nearly turned around to head back to the car. But Jacob grabbed my hand and let me into a clearing. In the center was a small fire, burning blue and green from the salt water. All of the guests were surrounding the fire, having conversations amongst themselves. Jacob was right about who would be attending, except for one. Leah, Harry and Sue Clearwater's daughter, sat just outside the main group, looking out to the ocean. She didn't look our way when we walked into the clearing like everyone else did. Something about her face looked sorrowful, but I couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was.

"Nice shirt, Bella! I think Jake has one just like it!" Jacob was right, Quil was the first to tease me. Sam smacked the back of his head, shutting him up.

Jacob squeezed my hand a little, looking apologetic, but said nothing. He sat beside Sam on a log they were using as a bench and I sat down in front of him. Wrapping his arms around me he pulled me back to him, so that my head was resting on his chest. Everyone else had gone back to their conversations, leaving us with a small measure of privacy.

Jacob leaned his lips down to my ear, and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, "Tonight the elders are telling us the legends of Verus Diligo… imprinting. I really wanted you to be here with me. This will be the first time we hear this part of our history." He sounded sad, "I want you to remember Bella, I love you. No matter what, I will always love you."

I looked up at Jacob in time to see him glance at Sam, a distressed look on his face. Sam turned back to Emily and squeezed her hand gently. The gesture was simple enough, but the emotion behind it was obvious. Sam loved Emily, and she him. It was like their worlds revolved around one another, and no one could ever deny their undying affection. I had never seen two people more in love.

A small ember burned in my chest, briefly taking me back to my misery. The look in Sam's eyes reminded me of the look I _thought _I saw Edward give me when we were in his meadow on our first date. That look of eternal love.

_ Only it wasn't eternal. It wasn't even real. _I pulled myself out of my sadness, impressed that I could do so. It helped that Jacob's arms were still wrapped tightly around me, holding me together. I placed my hand in his and turned to kiss his neck. My unease was quick enough he didn't even notice.

Billy and Henry showed up, then, triggering a silence across the group. The moved to stand beside Sam, on the opposite side as Jake and I. It was an unspoken announcement that the meeting was set to begin.

"Tonight," Billy began. There was an aura of power and strength in his voice that I have never noticed before, "We tell the story of Verus Diligo… Imprinting." Again I noticed that Leah looked unhappy. She wasn't looking at Billy or Harry like the others were. Her gaze was still focused on the ocean.

Harry took over the storytelling. "Verus Diligo means quite literally true love. We do not know if it is a component of our transformations, or from our tribe ancestors that allows us to search out our Verus Diligo, but we do know that it has been a part of our history for many, many generations. Our ancestor, Q'wati was the first to tell the story of his Verus Diligo. Q'wati was a transformer, part wolf and part man. He lived many years defending his tribe, never seeking love. He saw his transformations as a impediment, having no true form, and did not wish to father children who would do the same. He was the only wolf in his generation. There were no critical threats in his time, and he saw no need to continue the wolf."

Once again Billy began to speak. "Q'wati began traveling to other native tribes, searching for men to help us work our land. On one of these trips he met a woman named Arima. Arima was Q'wati's Verus Diligo."

"Q'wati described his love to Arima as a compulsion. He didn't know her, but he loved her and needed her like water, like shelter, and like food. He would give his life for her. Arima was married to another man, a very dangerous man, among his tribe. Q'wati killed Arima's husband, so that she could return with him to our land. He married Arima, and they birthed six sons."

"When Q'wati and Arima met, they fused a bond deeper than any promise or human law could defy. Q'wati, who had lived three human man's lives, stopped changing into a wolf, and began aging with Arima. Many years later, when Q'wati and Arima were far aged, they died together, in their sleep."

Harry picked up the story, "It has been many generations since anyone has experienced Verus Diligo. Some thought it was only an old tale told to young lovers to convince them not to marry. But now, when we face more of our enemies than ever before, we find that the legends of Verus Diligo are true."

It surprised me when Sam stood up. Sam was several years older than most of the pack, but he was far from being considered an elder. He moved to stand between the two tribal leaders and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he reached out to Emily and motioned for her to stand with him. "When I met Emily I knew immediately that I was to spend every day of my life with her. All the things that held me to this earth" he paused, taking a deep breath. He looked as if he was remembered a horrible crime, or a bad nightmare, "ceased to be significant. She was my one, my only. From that second, I loved her. Her life meant more than my own. She is my Verus Dilago."

"With imprinting, which we have come to call what happens when we find our Verus Dilago, there is no defying what is meant to be. The immense happiness that both sides of the love feel is overwhelming. But there is also a dark side. Before fate stepped into my life, and brought me my Emily, I loved another. I promised her the world. I promised her forever. And I had to break every promise I ever made to her."

A quiet sob broke me away from Sam's speech. I looked up to see Leah, still staring out into the ocean, with tears streaming down her cheeks. All of the others were looking at Sam. No one else noticed Leah's cries. I wanted to get up, to go to her. I wanted to help her.

I started to move toward her, but Jacob held me tight. I looked up, prepared to protest, but the sympathy in his eyes stopped me cold.

The others noticed Leah's heartache, but they knew this part of the story. Leah had been Sam's other love. The one who ended up heartbroken.

Sam's speech continued, but I could no longer hear him. My eyes stayed locked on Leah, my heart aching for her. I wanted to be angry at Sam for what he did to her. It wasn't fair. But I knew first hand that loved did not always make sense. Love was not always rational or understanding. Sometimes love was a monster.

I thought of the way I felt for Jacob, and all the things he'd said to me. He promised to love me forever. He promised to always come back to me. He promised to never leave me.

But none of those were promises he could make.

At any moment of any day, another girl could walk into Jacob's life and cast me aside. He could leave me, just like Edward did. All the love he has for me could be taken away. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The Edward hole in my chest was hurting again, like the embers of a long burning fire. But now it was accompanied but a whole new pain, a fresh burning that felt like the fire itself was going to burn my heart out.

I could be left alone, and broken. Not able to breath, not able to feel. I would just be an empty shell, stripped of everything that mattered in my life.

I tried wrap my arms around my chest, to hold myself together, but Jacob's arms were still laying over my shoulder. They no longer felt safe, no longer felt reassuring. Instead it was like a restraint, holding me down, making me endure the pain.

Jacob's voice, saturated with grief, broke me out of my waking nightmare. "Bella, do you want to take a walk on the beach with me?" I could tell he was expecting me to say no.

And I should have said no. I should have gone home, crawled in my bed, and prayed that it was all a nightmare. But instead I nodded my head, and I let him lead me away from the bonfire.

We walked for a long while, saying nothing. My mind raced, a millions miles a second, but no coherent thoughts would form. There were questions I knew I needed to ask, but I couldn't get the words to make sense in my head. Jacob said nothing, he just walked beside me, not touching me. Eventually we made it to the same piece of driftwood that we sat on when I first came to forks and I flirted with Jacob and he told me scary stories.

Jacob sat on the log and dropped his head into his hands. He was so upset that I immediately wanted to hold him and comfort him. I wanted to tell Jake that everything was going to be okay, and that we would get through it together. But I couldn't find my voice. And I didn't want to make more promises about our relationship that we couldn't control. Instead I sat down beside him and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Bella," he looked up at me, tears streaming down his face. I placed one hand on his face, wiping away his hears. He said nothing else. What was there to say?

We sat on the driftwood bench, _our spot, _I thought, for a long while. When the sun had finally set and the skies had gone completely dark I began to stand. "I need to get home, Jake. Charlie's going to be worried about me."

"Wait, Bella, please… It doesn't happen all the time. The legends all say that it's really rare. Please… don't leave me. Not over this. We just started dating, and I know I'm not perfect but Bella, I love you. I don't care what our ancestors say, there is nothing that could stop me from loving you. I feel something with you… It's like I'm drawn to you, but it's not like what Sam was talking about. It's like I _do _have a choice and I want you. Only you. Sam is with Emily because he has no _choice. _I want to marry you, and have babies, and grow old. When I close my eyes you are the one I picture doing those things with. There's never been anyone else for me, Bells."

I couldn't think. I knew I wanted the same things Jacob did, but at any point his _choice _could be taken away. Sam didn't chose to hurt Leah, but it happened. "Jake, I can't go through that. I won't survive it." I thought of the look on Leah's face, having to see Sam on the reservation and know that she is still in love with him.

I couldn't look Jacob in the eyes. My heart was breaking all over again, but only it was worse. When Edward left, I had Jacob to turn to. But if Jacob left me, I would have no one.


	12. Chapter 12

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**Chapter 12**

It had been a week since Bella sat with me around the bonfire at our tribal meeting, hearing the first of what I hoped would be many stories from my heritage. Instead, I had been tricked. Sam had decided that Bella needed to hear the truth about imprinting, and he didn't think I would tell her. He must have been careful to not think of the meeting around me, because I never detected any hint of his plan. Or maybe he wasn't so careful, and I just hadn't been paying attention. I had been spending all my time with Bella, and when she wasn't with me I was thinking of her. I know I was neglecting my duties as a part of the tribe. I let the others down, and Sam had every right to be angry. But I never imagined he would do something like this to me. It was the worse kind of betrayal. He _knew _just how much I loved Bella. And he knew that by telling her about his imprinting, and thus his relationship with Leah, he would frighten her.

His excuse was that he wanted me to "get my head back in the game", but his plan backfired. That night I drove Bella home and she wouldn't really talk to me. "_Just let me think. Give me some time, Jacob," _was what she had said. I didn't know how much time she needed, but on my way home I promised myself that I would not change into my wolf form until she made a decision. Sam betrayed me, and I felt I needed to get him back. I wouldn't give him the chance to lay down the alpha command and force me to do what he wanted me to. And I didn't want any of them searching through my head, trying to mentally interrogate me. For once I wanted my thoughts and feelings to be my own.

I wasn't easy. My whole body felt like it was fighting against an enemy I never knew I had. When Sam showed up at my doorstep, yelling at me, I knew he was only trying to instigate me. He thought that if he could make me angry enough, he could force me to change. But the anger wasn't powerful enough to overtake the heartache. In my worse nightmares I never imagined a torture so strong. It felt like physical pain inside my heart, where my werewolf healing did no good to mend. I spent every day in the garage, reminiscing about the first few times Bella came over. I thought of how easy it had all been before I was thrown into the world of werewolves and vampires. I pictured how my life would be if mythical creatures were just that, myths. Bella and I would be together in that world. She would have never fallen in love with an undead _monster_, and my heritage wouldn't leave her feeling like she couldn't love me. Never before had I wished that I didn't belong to a tribe such as ours. Growing up, I had loved having close friends who all shared the same background, living in a small reservation set apart from many the complications of the would outside our own. As I grew older I learned to respect that birthright. We were a people of strength. We were a family. But now I yearned for a normal life with a normal family… a family who didn't stab you in the back.

I called Bella's house every day, and every day I got the same response. Charlie would answer, and in a sad voice he would say, "Bella's not up for it right now, Jake. Why don't you call back tomorrow." I don't know what she told him.

Twice I went to her house, but I didn't knock on the door. I knew she needed some space. I just sat in my car, watching at her window. I never saw her face. Once, I caught a glimpse of her back as she left the room, but that was all.

On the eighth day after the bonfire, I sat in my makeshift garage, considering taking a ride on my bike. On one hand I loved riding, but on the other I knew that it would only make me miss Bella even more. Even knowing that she brought the bikes to me to get back at the leech I knew I would always enjoy riding with her. It was an pastime we shared with no one else. I was just grabbing the keys off the table when Embry stormed through the door, slamming it against the wall and knocking several things down in the process. "What the _hell, _Embry?"

"Leech, Jake! It's _her!"_

Violent shakes coursed through my body as I registered what he meant. He was talking about the bloodsucker that was hunting Bella, on some revenge mission. She wanted to kill Bella, because Edward had killed her mate last year. She didn't know that he left her, or maybe she didn't care. Again I thought of that life Bella and I could have if there were no vampires. "_Fuck!"_

I barely made it out of my garage before shifting, forgetting my promise to not change.

_I don't care if she chooses me or not, just let her be safe! Please, God, don't let me be too late!_

I made it to Bella's house in only a few minutes, and there was no scent of vampire near the front door. Charlie's car wasn't in the driveway, so I shifted and blew through the door not even bothering to knock. If she was angry at me I would deal with it later. All that mattered was that I protect her from the monster trying to take her life. She wasn't in the kitchen or living room, so I raced up the stairs, four at a time. My heart was thumping in my chest, my breath coming in puffs from exertion. I threw the bathroom door open and she was nowhere. I was beginning to panic when I threw myself through her bedroom door, only to find that she wasn't sitting at her desk or in her bed. It took a moment for my eyes to reach her. She was sitting in a rocking chair beside the window, with her legs curled up and her arms holding them tight. My heartache burned back to life when I saw her eyes. She looked at me through the same eyes as the first day she came to my garage with the bikes. Still a beautiful, deep brown, but her eyes had an ugly emptiness, like all of her life had been drained from them. Tears fell from the corner of her puffy eyes, tracing a path down her face. She had been crying for a long time.

I launched myself at her, picking her up and holding her tight. Her face was frozen with surprise from my intensity. Still holding her against me, I used my fingertips to softly wipe away her tears. "Bella, honey, listen to me. I know you don't want me here, but that _leech's _scent was just found. She's trying to get in town," I spoke quickly and quietly. If she was close enough to hear I didn't want her to know I was waiting for her. I wanted nothing more than to end this today and never have to worry about it again. I moved across the room and set Bella down in the corner, turning to place myself between Bella and whatever would walk through the door or come in through the window.

For a second I thought Bella was going to pass out. The color drained from her face and her breath caught in her chest as tremors took over her body, shaking her violently. I was so torn. I wanted to turn and comfort her but I couldn't bring myself to turn around. My first priority was to protect her. My own breath seemed to get stuck in my chest as I waited for our attacker to strike. I heard a noise at the bottom of the stairs and I took a step away from Bella, know that if it was the leech I would need to shift. I heard Bella whisper, "Jake…" and then she fell to the floor, hitting her head on the desk with a _crack._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_What a strange dream. _I woke up slowly, trying to remember what exactly had happened in my dream. It had something to do with Jake… He'd been in my room and he threw me into the corner, standing in front of me. But why was he shaking? Why did he step away from me?

_Victoria!_

I tried to make my body move, but it wouldn't listen. Instead, my mind raced miles ahead of my limbs, recalling what happened before I blacked out. Victoria was coming for me. She was on her way into town. And the only thing standing between her and me was Jacob.

I had to make my body respond! I had to make sure that Jake was okay. He was strong, but not strong enough to take on Victoria by himself. I barely had any hope of the whole pack taking her down, let alone Jacob alone. I focused deep into my body, trying to make any part of it move just a little. It wasn't the first time I've blacked out. A few years ago I had fallen while rollerblading and hit my head. I saw the blood oozing down the sidewalk before I had time to brace myself. When I woke up it was a slow process. My mind came to first, leaving my body immobile for a few minutes longer.

But I didn't have time for that! Where was Jacob? Was he okay? _Please let him be okay!_

I heard voices around me, but none of them were Jacob. I listened closer to see what they were talking about.

"She'll be okay, she just hit her head on the way down." It was Sam. Why was Sam in my bedroom? After the bonfire last week I was pretty sure he didn't want me around.

"But she's not moving, Sam. Maybe we _should _take her to the hospital." Quil was there, too?

"No. Just give her time." I felt a warm hand on the inside of my wrist. For a moment I thought Jacob was there, sitting beside me, when Sam spoke again, "Her pulse is strong. She just passed out."

Why wasn't Jacob here? I needed him with me. I needed to make sure he was safe.

I heard someone sigh, and then Quil spoke, "Sam, what are we going to do about Jake?"

_'What are we going to _do _about Jake?' _What did they mean? Was he hurt? Worse!? Fear gripped at my mind, bringing me back to reality. I had to get to him, protect him. The idea of _me _protecting Jacob was amusing. He hardly needed me for that, and there wasn't much I could do even if I had to, but I had to try.

I heard myself gasp, and my body started to work again. I sat up slowly and looked around at my room. Everything was exactly how it had been. Now destruction, no blood, nothing. _But wasn't there a fight? _The last thing I remember was someone coming up the stairs. I blacked out before I could see who it was, but I had been sure it was Victoria.

Sam tried to coax me to lay down, but it was no use. I was already grabbing at my desk, using it to balance myself as I stood up. As soon as I was sure I wouldn't fall back to the ground, I looked back at Sam and Quil. "Where is he? What happened? Is he okay?"

Although I had been speaking to Quil it was Sam who answered. "It's alright. He's okay. He just took off before you woke up. He wasn't sure you'd want him here when you came to."

"And Victoria?" So she hadn't been in my house after all?

"She took off North when she sensed we were after her. Embry came here to tell Jake. He wasn't in wolf form, so we wanted to make sure he was alright."

"Were is he? I need to see him!" Sam's nonchalant attitude didn't calm my fears. I knew none of them took vampires as seriously as they should.

Sam turned to Quil and nodded. Quil turned to the door and darted out. After only a second he peeked his head back in. "You sure you're alright, Bella?" His question had a deep double meaning, and my heart ached a little. They all knew what happened between Jake and I.

"Go get Jacob, Quil." Sam's voice sounded more like a order than a request.

I didn't like being alone with Sam. Although I had gotten to know him pretty well since Jacob first turned into a wolf I couldn't help but blame him a little. When Jake first changed, I was certain Sam was forcing him into something he didn't want to do. The grudge I developed then would never fade away completely, even after hearing the truth. In my mind Sam had turned my happy, always optimistic, Jacob into a more cynical Jacob. I could often see the switch from _my _Jake to _Sam's _Jake, and it always made me a little sad.

I wasn't sure why Sam even stuck around until he motioned for me to sit down on the bed. "Can we talk?"

I apprehensively sat down. I couldn't think of anything Sam would want to talk to me about. He had made it clear the week before what he thought of Jacob and I being together.

"I owe you an apology. Jake, too, but since he won't talk to me I will come to you."

"Since when do you need him to talk to you? Can't you just tell him when you're both changed?"

"Jacob hasn't shifted since the meeting." Sam looked at me suspiciously. The shock on my face must have been transparent. "You didn't know?"

"No. I haven't talked to him since that night." I dropped my head, ashamed. I knew I needed to talk to Jake, I just didn't know how. I'd been putting it off for a week now.

Sam started pacing my room, peering out the window. I didn't know if he was looking for Jacob or for any signs of Victoria.

"It wasn't fair for me to tell you about Imprinting that way. I should have let Jacob tell you in his own time."

"I needed to know…" I knew it was true, but I wish Jacob had been the one to tell me, too.

"Imprinting is a very complicated experience. I told you my story, which wasn't always a happy one." He took a deep breath and looked to the ground, reliving the memory once again. When he looked back up at me, his face was composed. "Everything in our legends say that imprinting is very rare. You shouldn't give up on Jacob because of this." I couldn't deny the certainty in his voice.

What Sam didn't know was that I had already made my choice. "Sam… I," but he cut me off.

"It's killing him, Bella. I've never seen Jacob like this. If I didn't know better, I would think that he already _has _imprinted on you."

That took me by surprise. "Is that possible? I mean, could he have imprinted and we don't know it?" A surge of hope rocketed through my body.

"I don't know for sure, but I don't think so. When I met Emily I knew what had happened right away. It was like that was the only thing I _did _know."

"Oh…" I took a deep breath and settled myself. I wanted to talk to Jacob, not Sam, but it didn't look like I had a choice. "Sam, I'm not going to leave Jacob. I love him, too."

Sam looked up at me, surprised. He had apparently been expecting a different response.

"When I first went to Jake I was a mess. I was broken and alone. I had no hope of ever feeling happy again. From the first day I knew I needed him. He made me feel alive again, and gave me the courage to come out of the dark hole I was in. I want to spend the rest of my life with Jacob." Again, I thought of how that may not happen, and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "But just one day with Jacob is better than none. If it does happen, and he imprints on someone else, I can only hope that someday I will learn to appreciate the time I was given with him." My voice began to crack, and I made myself stop talking. The last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of Sam.

I nearly screamed when a huge set of arms wrapped around me from behind. A familiar, beautiful set of arms. Jacob had snuck into my room through the window, without me ever hearing him. He had heard my whole speech to Sam.

Sam looked smug, to say the least. "I'll let you guys be alone. Jake, I need to talk to you later."

"I know." It was so good to hear his voice again.

"You heard me?" I asked, once Sam slid through the door.

" I heard everything, Bells. I love you, too, and I don't ever want us to be apart again!" Jacob whispered into my ear as he held me.

We held each other close, just taking in all the things we'd missed from the past week. Eventually Jacob laid down on my bed, pulling me along with him. I snuggled deep into his warm body. After a few minutes his soft snores took over, lulling me into the most peaceful sleep I'd had in months.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Charlie gave me a dirty look when he came in to find Bella and I curled up together in her bed. We both assured him that nothing was going on, after all we were both fully dressed and on top of the covers. He still didn't seem to like it, but said nothing. We decided not to push our luck, and went downstairs to watch a movie.

I went into the kitchen to grab some drinks and snacks as Bella picked out the movie. I came back into the living room with two sodas and a big bowl of popcorn, setting it down on the table and settling in the small couch with Bella. "You don't mind 50's movies, do you?" A giggle burst through her lips, making my day. It'd been so long since I'd heard her laugh.

"No, I don't mind… why?" I didn't understand the joke.

"You'll see…" She eyed me mischievously, hitting the play button on the remote. I rolled with laughter when the movie title appeared; _I was a Teenage Werewolf._

We sat together on the couch, laughing every time a werewolf appeared on the screen. Full moons, biting, the howling at the moon… they got very few things right. But I was so happy to be sitting with Bella, holding her again, that I would have watched any movie she wanted. She seemed to be in the same mood, so after the first movie ended, she picked another. This one, _ Breakfast at Tiffany's, _I knew. It was my sisters' favorite, and had been forced to sit through it many times as a kid. I was eternally grateful to that, now, because I shocked Bella by reciting the lines as they were being said.

"You know this movie?" She asked, surprised.

"Yea, why?"

"I don't know, Jake, it just doesn't seem like your kind of movie." She was right. I hated it but I knew it anyways.

"What, you don't think I could be romantic?" I teased her. "I'm _very _romantic when I want to be." To prove my point, I pulled Bella into my lap and leaned in to kiss her soft lips.

Bella wanted to pay attention to the movie, so we turned back to the TV. As she watched the story play out on the screen I watched her, taken away by her beauty. Not just physically, although she _was _stunning, but also the beauty she had in her heart. She was so forgiving, so compassionate, that she could love _me _even with the fear that some day I could imprint on someone else and be forced to leave her. I just couldn't see how that could happen. Bella was my _everything. _In my head I could see our future together… our house, our wedding, our babies. It all seemed so perfect. Again, I wondered why I hadn't imprinted on her already. I stared at her, willing it to happen.

The phone interrupted my daydream. Bella jumped, too, obviously caught up in the movie. She moved to grab the phone hanging on the kitchen wall, but Charlie beat her to it. From the living room we listened to his half of the conversation.

"Sue, what's wrong?" Charlie asked.

A pause.

"Who else was involved?"

Sue answered him.

"I'll be at the hospital in ten minutes. Do you need a ride there?"

Again, she responded.

"What about your kids?"

More waiting.

"I'll be right there." Charlie hung up the phone and grabbed his coat hanging on the hook by the door. "Bella, Jacob, Harry's been in a car accident. His car rolled, and they rushed him and the driver of the other car to the hospital. I'm going to go pick up Sue and take her to the hospital. It doesn't look good." Charlie was trying to hold it all together and do his duties as the police chief, but Harry was his best friend. You could tell it was difficult for him to stay calm. "Jacob, will you stay here? I'm picking your dad up, too, and I'd rather if you kids were here together than alone. I'll call you as soon as I know something."

"Okay, dad." Bella said. "I really hope Harry's okay."

"So do I, kiddo," he said as he walked out the front door.

Bella came back to sit next to me on the sofa and I took her hand into my own.

It was several hours before the phone rang again. Bella jumped up and grabbed it on the second ring, motioning for me to come closer so that I could hear the news, too.

"How is Harry, dad? Is he okay?" she asked.

"I'm afraid not, honey. The doctors rushed him in for surgery but he didn't make it. They said there were internal injuries that they couldn't fix." Charlie sounded exhausted, and I could hear Sue crying in the background.

"Dad… I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you want Jake and I to come down there?"

"No, no, just stay there. Billy and I are going to stay here a while. I'm filling out the paperwork and Billy is with Sue."

"What about Seth and Leah?" I asked. My heart was breaking for Harry's kids. I knew what it was like to lose a parent to a car accident. I was really young when my mom died, but I remembered waiting in the hospital and wishing I could be anywhere but there. "Are they at the hospital?"

"They were, but Embry's mom picked them up about a half hour ago. They are staying with them tonight."

"Are you sure you don't need us?" I felt useless.

"No, Jake, you guys just stay put. We're going over the arrangements for the funeral first thing in the morning, so I probably won't be home until after that." Charlie paused, and I could hear him sigh. "I'm trusting you two…"

"Of course, Charlie. I understand. Just let us know if there is anything we can do for Sue, okay?"

"Yea, sure will." Charlie hung up then, so Bella settled the phone into the cradle.

I wrapped my arms around her, unsure of what else there was to do, as we silently mourned the loss of a very good man.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"I'm so sorry, Jake… I know you were close to Harry." I said. Harry was a tribal elder, and one of the few men who knew the secret of the wolves. Just last week at the bonfire he had been one of the ones telling the stories of the Verus Diligo.

I didn't know Harry well, but he was Charlie's best friend. I remember him from the fishing trips Charlie drug me to as a kid, and I always thought well of him. But Jacob was much closer to Harry. I placed my hand on the side of his face to comfort him. He placed his hand over mind and turned to kiss my palm.

"I just can't believe he's gone. And I feel so bad for Seth and Leah. It's going to be really hard for them." He led me back into the living room and we sat down on the couch.

"Do you think Sue's going to be okay?"

Jacob snorted, "Sue? Sue could survive anything. She's the strongest woman I've ever met. Well, besides you."

"Me? You think I'm strong?" I asked, unbelieving. Most days I felt anything but strong.

"Honestly, Bella, you may be stronger than me." I rolled my eyes, so he continued. "Not physically… I mean mentally."

"How do you figure that, Jake?" I wasn't sure if he was teasing me or if he was serious.

He sighed, and looked into my eyes. "Bella, when you first came to town what did you think of this place?"

"I don't know, I guess I thought it was going to be pretty boring. And wet." I made a face of disgust and he laughed. He was sitting on the couch and I was on his lap. As we were talking he was absently playing with my hair, making it hard for me to concentrate.

"And then you found out there were vampires, and what do you do? You jump right into dating one!" He said the word vampires with an age old aversion, but otherwise seemed lighthearted. This wasn't a topic he often liked to talk about.

"Well, it didn't happen quite like that, but what's your point?"

"My _point _is, you're either very crazy or very strong. And since I don't think you're crazy, then it must be the latter."

I just stared at him, unbelieving, making him laugh again.

He continued, "And now, look at us… you're spending the night with a _werewolf. _Maybe you are crazy!"

My faced flushed red as I realized what he was saying was true. Not the crazy part, but that I would be spending the night with a werewolf. I suddenly felt burning hot, like someone had lit a fire in my stomach. My nerves were in high gear, trying to decide what to do. I knew the right thing would be to make Jacob a make-shift bed on the couch, kiss him goodnight, and retreat to my own room, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Jacob to follow me up the stairs to my room and stay with me the whole night.

"Come on, Bella, I'm just joking. I know you're not _really _crazy…at least not in the mental health kind of way." He was still teasing as he ran his lips down my neck, laying soft, warm kissing along the way.

"Jake, will you stay with me tonight? _With me, _with me, I mean. In my room." My face was burning red now.

"Are you sure Bella? I mean, I can sleep on the down here on the couch if you want. I don't want to cross the line, and I'm not real sure where that line is." Jake said, suddenly serious again.

I sighed, knowing it was time to have the conversation I'd been dreading since we first started our relationship. I focused on his hand that was resting on my thigh so that I wouldn't have to look in his eyes. "I really don't know where that line is either. I've never even been this far, so it's all new to me."

"But didn't you and Edw…" I cut him off before he could finish his name.

"No."

"I just thought that.."

"Never."

"Oh," he said, thoughtful. "Good."

I cringed away. I knew that he would feel that way, but it still hurt to hear him say it.

He felt me start to move away and held me tighter. "No, Bella, I'm sorry… I just mean _good _because I haven't don't anything like that either."

I stared at Jacob. He was so sweet, funny and _gorgeous. _Surely he had other girlfriends before I came to town. I assumed he was much more experienced than I was.

"You've never been with anyone before?"

It was Jacob's turn to blush this time. His lips pulled up on one side in a small smirk and he laughed a bit sheepishly. "Bella, you're the first girl I've ever even kissed."

My mouth fell open and I just sat there, speechless.

"I guess that means I'm kind of lame, right?" he laughed, but I could tell he felt inadequate.

"No… I think it just means we need to practice more." I teased him playfully as I turned to face him, straddling his legs. I kissed him, deeply, letting my tongue graze across his bottom teeth as he pulled me closer to his body.

"You're right… it might take a lot of this for me to catch up with most guys my age." He ran his hands up my hips and under my shirt, placing them on my waist. The warmth seemed to soak into my skin all the way to the bone.

I shuddered to think of the _guys his age. _I'd heard enough stories from Jessica and Lauren about what they did with their boyfriends. It wasn't unusual for them to sleep with a guy one week and with someone else a week later. "Jake, I'm glad we're on the same page."

"Me too…" he said, kissing my neck. "Just…Bella, I don't know where to stop. I want to keep going with you, and once I'm kissing you I can't even see straight. You need to tell me if I'm going to far. If you're uncomfortable I want you to just say so. You won't hurt my feelings…"

"M'kay" I said as he continued to kiss down my chest. He was unbuttoning my shirt along the way.

"Promise?" He asked without his lips ever leaving my skin.

He paused and looked up at me when I didn't answer right away. I was lost in my own train of thought. "Yep. Promise."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I pressed Bella's body as close to mine as I could, feeling her silky skin on my own. Her shirt lay on the floor by my feet, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was being too pushy. But I made her promise that if I went too far she would stop me.

I respected Bella more than words could express and I never wanted to make her uncomfortable with me, but I felt like every dream I'd ever had was coming true when she was in my arms. Honestly, I could just hold her for the rest of my life and be happy, but I wanted so much more. I wanted everything with Bella. And I wanted to show her that she could trust me.

Leaving Bella would never been an option. Imprinting or not, she was my life. My whole world revolved around her.

"Are you hungry, Jake?" she asked. I hadn't even thought about food until she mentioned it. I was _starving._

"Very! Let me make it, though! You're always cooking for everyone else." I tried to think of something I knew how to make…

"Actually, I was thinking Pizza… is that okay?"

My stomach rumbled. "Sounds great!"

Bella pulled her shirt back on and ordered our food.

We sat around the table a little while later, eating our pizza. Bella ordered two larges, and I devoured mine and most of hers. She giggled as I shoved another piece in my mouth. "Do you ever get full?"

"Nope." I mumbled, my mouth full.

"Do you think you're done growing, Jake?" she asked, blushing.

I hadn't really thought about it. I'd grown so much in the last few months that I was much bigger than the average boy my age. If I grew too much bigger I wouldn't blend into public well. "Don't know… maybe. I'm pretty big, aren't I?"

"Yea…"

We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, just happy to be together. After dinner we returned to the living room to watch the rest of our movie. Bella laid on the couch with her head in my lap as I drew circles on her stomach with my fingertips. She had one hand propped up behind my head, playing with my hair, and the other at her side.

"Mmm… that feels good." I said, as she ran her hand through my hair, pulling slightly.

"You're hair is getting long again," she said, absently.

"Yea, I know. I should probably cut it."

"No, no, I like it. I was just thinking that it reminded me of… ya know… before. Before you changed." Her voice sounded sad.

"I haven't changed that much, Bells. I'm still the same old me."

"Yea, except for when you're ten times your size and covered in hair!" She was smiling at me, teasing.

"Yea, except then…" I bent down and kissed her forehead.

She turned serious again. "Life just seemed so much easier before I entered into the world of vampires and werewolves. It's like all the things I knew for certain are no longer guaranteed. Everything can change in an instant. The instability scares the hell out of me."

I cringed a little, knowing that she as referring to imprinting. She was so afraid I would find someone else and imprint. I didn't know how to assure her that wouldn't happen. I wasn't positive myself. "Bella, I love you."

"I know you do, Jake."

I pulled her up in my lap, face to face with me. "How do I convince you that I won't leave you? How can I make you feel safe with me?"

"I don't know, Jake… I don't know that you can. It's not like it's really up to you."

I hated that she was right. "I know" I hung my head, ashamed. It wasn't fair.

Bella pulled my face back up, kissing me softly on the lips. "Jacob, I love you."

My head began beating out of my chest. I knew it was true, but she had never said those words to me before. I pressed my lips to hers, kissing her deeply, longing for her to feel the extent of my love. She kissed me back passionately, swinging her legs around to face me once again. This time she unbuttoned her own shirt, tossing it to the side, and pressed her body to mine, skin to skin. I could feel her heartbeat pulsing through me, quickening with every movement we made. I ran my hands along her body, feeling every inch of bare skin.

Bella had her hands on the back of my neck, pulling me to her, deepening our kiss. Her body moved in the rhythm of our kiss, pressing against me, causing my body to react. She moaned softly over me, only reassuring my desire.

"Jake," she said, turning red again. "Do you want to go upstairs?"

…._BREATHE… _I had to remind myself again and again.

I swallowed, loudly. "Are you sure?" _Please say yes…please say yes._

"Yes."

Bella grabbed my hand, pulling me off the couch. I followed her up the stairs in a daze, unsure what to do next. I'd seen this happening in the minds of some of the pack, but I never imagined my fear to be so strong. Fear, longing, anticipation, anxiety… every emotion you could think of. I struggled between wanting to be with Bella more than I'd wanted anything in my life and not knowing what to do, how to do it, or what to expect. I followed her all the way into her room and she closed the door behind me.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I let my body take control as I pulled Jacob to my bed and sat down on the edge. He followed me, a little dazed and sat beside me. I waited for the blushing and the self consciousness to take hold, paralyzing me, but it didn't. Again I thought of how easy everything seemed to be with Jacob. I wrapped my hand in his, squeezing a little, to let him know it was okay. He was the one who made me promise to tell _him _when to stop, but suddenly I found myself pushing him to go further. I pressed my hands on his chest, pushing him back until he was laying on my bed with his legs hanging over the side and kissed his smooth, gorgeous chest. I ran my hands along his toned abs, feeling my fingertips brush along the tops of his boxers, feeling braver than I ever thought possible.

Jake was still disoriented, laying on the bed frozen in place. I giggled against his neck and whispered in his ear, "Jake, honey, are you going to kiss me back?"

He seemed to snap back to me, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me on top of him. He kissed me with earnest this time, his tongue lingering on my bottom lip. I could feel his manhood pressing against me, encouraging me to continue. I sucked his bottom lip into mine, nibbling a little, teasing him. He moaned, pushing himself up to grind into my hips, sending my body into a whirlwind of desire.

I scooted back in my bed, pulling Jake with me, and leaned my head on the pillow. He laid beside me, propped up on his elbow with his head in one hand and the other drawing random designs on my stomach. I pulled his face down to mine, meeting his gaze, already missing his lips on mine. "Bella…" he half asked, half moaned.

"Jake, I want to be with you." I looked at him in the eyes, trying to convince him that I was ready. Not wanting to make the experience uncomfortable I teased him, "Unless you don't want to be with _me_". I stifled a giggle. I knew that Jacob had been dreaming of this for a long time.

He growled a low, throaty sound, and rolled on top of me, holding most of his weight with his hands. The pressure was enough to feel his arousal pressing into mine through our jeans. "Bella… I've dreamt of holding you, kissing you, making _love with you _for so long… You have no idea." He reached down, stroking the outside of my jeans, and laughed as my body quivered underneath him.

Jacob unbuttoned my jeans slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. I know he was waiting for the second I said 'stop', but that moment wasn't going to come. My body called for him in ways I didn't know it could. He sat back in the bed, pulling my jeans off each leg one by one. He kissed my ankle, along my calf, up to my knee watching my face for a reaction. Every kiss sent sparks into my body, warming me from the inside. His hands lingered on my thighs, lightly tracing lines up and down, each time reaching closer and closer to my middle, driving me crazy with anticipation. I could feel the wetness in my panties.

I reached down, unbuttoning his jeans, and planting small kissing along his firm chest. He trembled with pleasure as my hands pushed his jeans down his backside, and he pushed them the rest of the way off, dropping them on the floor next to mine.

Jacob was the first man I'd ever _seen _and a sudden fear ripped through me. As he sat in my bed wearing only his boxers I wasn't sure how it was supposed to work. Of course, I knew the anatomy of it, but I didn't understand how he was supposed to _fit._

"Jake…" I said, breathless.

He looked into my eyes, seeing my panic, and froze. "Bella, we don't have to do this. Just tell me to stop and I will."

"No…no… don't stop. Please, don't stop." He smiled at my begging.

Jacob kissed me for a long moment. I was surprised that I didn't feel self conscious, laying in bed mostly naked with a man. _But Jacob isn't just any man, _I thought. He leaned over me, pressing his whole body into mine, nestling his face into my neck. "Bella, I've been waiting a long time for this… I love you so much."

He was just beginning to pull my panties aside when we hurt the howl. His whole body froze for a half of a second before he began trembling, holding off the phase that was coming. I looked at his face, hurt stabbing through me. It was irrational… I knew what Jacob was. I know he had duties to his tribe, his pack, his family. But at that moment rejection was the only emotion I could comprehend.

"Bella, I have to go. I don't have a choice." His face crumbled as he saw my reaction. "I'm so sorry."

He sprinted out of my room, barely grabbing his pants in the process, and was out the front door before I had time to move.

I stayed in my bed, sobbing, for a while, unable to make my body move. Eventually I stood up and yanked my clothes back on before I stumbled downstairs to grab a glass of water.

I was standing in the kitchen when the realization hit me… something was going on. Jacob wouldn't have left if it wasn't serious and it had been nearly twenty minutes and I still hadn't heard anything. I paced the kitchen, trying to wrap my head around the situation. _Something was wrong. The pack had to meet immediately. Victoria…_

It was the only logical conclusion. She was back, again, trying to get to me. It was inevitable. As long as she was alive she was going to keep coming for me. Irrationally, my only need was to make sure Jacob was okay. I darted out the back door and stopped in the middle of Charlie's back yard.

My heart stopped in my chest, hard and cold as it would have been if I'd become a vampire. My lungs refused to take in the air I needed to survive. Even my brain, which had shut down when I was faced with Victoria coming into my room, refused to cooperate. I stood silent and immobile as my life crumbled, my heart broke in two, my lungs burned with an old open wound.

Edward stood facing me, just inside the tree line, only feet away from where he left me months ago.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I saw the images as soon as I phased. Sam had been out running rounds with Embry when they crossed the scent just a mile away from the reservation. It wasn't the one we'd been after, the one Bella calls Victoria, but it didn't matter. It was too close to my friends, my family. I pushed forward, flying through the woods as fast as possible. All around me the pack was catching up on what Sam and Embry found.

I couldn't help but think of Bella's face when I left. She looked so sad, so hurt. It reminded me of the look she had in her eyes after that _leech _left her.

The pack soaked in my memories with Bella and gasped. "Jacob, I'm sorry," Sam said, honestly remorseful. "But we have to take care of our tribe."

"I know," I shot at him, a bit hateful. But it wasn't Sam I was angry at. Once again it was a _bloodsucker _tearing me away from Bella.

I pushed even harder to close in the last bit of distance between me and where the pack was gathering. I stood beside Sam, his second in command, and felt a bit ashamed at how I acted when he told Bella about imprinting. He was right, it was something she needed to know…to understand. I didn't feel I deserved to stand second rank.

"You're here now. That is what matters," Sam said, authoritative and sincere at the same time.

Once we were all gathered we followed the scent south, quickly finding a young newborn hiding in a cave about a mile outside of the reservation. He looked terrified, and tried to run when he saw us descend on him. Sam and I took him out easily, sending the others to search for more. Embry and Quil found another, a female, not far away. They took her down, tearing her apart and added the remains to the pile we already had burning. We scowled the area looking for more, but it seemed they were the only ones.

"Jacob," Sam motioned for me to come closer. "Go to Bella. Explain it to her. She will forgive you."

I looked into his eyes, searching for the hesitation, the disgust that even he used to show toward her. I found none. I saw a brother, a friend, a mentor looking at me, willing me to have everything in my life I desire.

I pressed my legs to run even faster to get back to Bella. I wanted to apologize and beg her to forgive me for leaving at the worse time. I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her beautiful lips. I prayed that she would want to pick up where we left off, but I knew that even if she didn't I would be happy. She wanted me, and that was all that mattered.

I caught the scent only a few moments before I saw them. The rest of the pack froze, recognizing the scent, too. I could feel them concentrating through my eyes, seeing into my head. My pain was their pain at that moment.

I stood just inside the trees, watching. I knew the _fucking leech _could smell me, sense me near him, but he didn't even turn. He stared at Bella… _MY BELLA… _and I saw him reach for her.

If I could have made my body move I would have killed him right then. Instead I was frozen to the ground, locked in place by my own rage. At that moment I knew my world was ending. She was going to chose _him._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I stared at Edward and he stared back at me. He was everything I remembered… Tall, lean, muscled, pale, beautiful. He was glorious, like a God standing in front of me. He motioned for me to move closer to him, to come to him. But I couldn't move. My feet were glued to the ground, my legs incapable of taking the ten steps it would take to be in his arms. His hard, cold arms.

"Bella…" he breathed. His eyes were as black as coal and blazing.

"What… what are…why did…" I couldn't form words.

"Bella, Alice saw you disappear. She searched for you, to see if you were safe. She couldn't find you anywhere." His face was drawn together, deep lines forming in his otherwise perfect face. "I had to come here… I had to make sure you were safe."

_ Why does it matter?_

_ Why do you care?_

_ Why is Alice looking for me?_

_ What are you doing here?_

_ Where is your family?_

The questions burned into my brain, but I couldn't articulate them. Instead I just shook my head, trying to clear out the confusion.

_Edward was here… standing in front of me. He wanted to make sure I was okay, that I was safe. He still cared about me. He still loved me._

I willed my legs to take me forward, to move me toward him, but something stopped me.

_ Jacob._

His name pushed to the front of my mind, leaving everything else behind. I had just spent the day with Jacob, in my bed, willing to make love to him. I'd spent the last six months with him, falling in love a little more every day. I had finally allowed myself to let go of Edward, to move on, and now he was here, standing in front of me. What did it all mean?

"Bella, I shouldn't have left you. I wanted to protect you… protect you from me… from what I _am._ I thought you would be better without me. It was wrong, Bella… I should have never left." He took a step forward.

My body finally allowed me to move, but it wasn't in the direction I expected. I took a step back, away from Edward. His face crumbled, "What's wrong? Bella, talk to me…"

"Jacob." This time I said it out loud.

"What?" He asked, confused at first. And then I saw the understanding flash across his face.

* * *

I felt like I was a second rate football player standing on the sidelines of my own game. He was the pro. I couldn't compete with him. Agony tore at my chest, but I still couldn't move. I could only watch on in horror as the love of my life left me for my worse enemy.

I tried to not focus on what he was saying. I caught the gist of it, though. He was coming back. He wanted her back. He _loved _her. It was lies! If he loved her, he never could have left her.

"Jacob." My name crossed her lips as if it was a safety float, holding her above water.

_What?_

"I love Jacob." She said, shaking her head slightly. "Edward, you left. You nearly killed me by leaving. It's Jacob I love."

The whole world crashed around me in that moment. My body, still in wolf form, flickered between realms. It felt like a million cords pulling me toward Bella, needing her to look in my eyes. Without realizing it, I was standing naked, human, just inside the tree line. I stepped forward, uncaring that I had no clothes on, and whispered, "Bella."

She turned to me, away from him, and gasped. Our eyes met and nothing else mattered. The light around us danced to the beat of the forest, sending waves of serenity deep into my skin. I felt my heart melt, forming to her, taking her soul in to meet mine. I reached out to her and she closed the distance between us, leaving her past love behind her.

"Jake," She whispered. "It happened. Verus Diligo! It happened!" She was crying, holding me and kissing me.

I held her against me, crying into her shoulder, knowing that Bella was mine. Eternally, unconditionally, mine.

I looked up at the spot where her past had been standing. He was gone, almost as if he had never been.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

I stole a quick glance behind me to see if Edward was still standing there watching us, but he was gone. I flushed red, embarrassed that we'd put on such a show in front of him. Jacob and I had been kissing for several minutes, completely wrapped up in each other physically and mentally. If what he said was true and he did still love me he was probably hurting now.

"It doesn't matter now, Bells. He saw it in my head…" Jacob held me tight as he reassured me.

I thought about what Jake said. What exactly would Edward have seen? I didn't understand what I was thinking when my eyes locked with Jacob's. It was like all the pain, all the fear and anxiety that I'd been through in the last year no longer mattered. All my hopes and dreams disappeared for a blink of a second, only to return twice as strong with Jacob by my side. I felt a physical need to be wrapped in his arms every second of every day just taking in his scent and his warmth. But these were all things I felt with my heart, not things I consciously thought about. Would Jacob have been able to understand what was happening enough to allow Edward to get a look at the whole picture?

"Let's go inside," He squeezed my hand and pulled me toward the house.

Neither of us said anything as we made our way up the stairs. Jacob sat on my bed and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling his face into my neck. I could feel a smile on his face as he held me.

"What happened, Jake? I mean, how? I thought it was a love at first sight kind of thing?" I was so happy that he had finally imprinted on me, but I wanted to understand it. Sam and the elders hadn't given us much hope that we _could _end up together.

"I got a pretty good idea of what was going on before you looked at me, Bells. Do you want me to tell you about it?"

I nodded fervently so he continued.

"I'm not sure how, but as soon as I felt the pull toward you everything made sense. It was all leading to this, Bella. Everything was. You coming to Forks, the day we walked on the beach, even you falling in love with _him. _It was all so that one day we would be standing here together."

I shook my head, not understanding what he was saying. "But Jake, why didn't it just happen before? When we were standing on the beach the first time? Or the hundreds of times since? I don't get it?"

"I couldn't shift yet when we first met. And then, well, I think I wouldn't let myself imprint on you after that." He turned to the window so I couldn't see his face.

"What do you mean, _wouldn't let yourself?_" I still couldn't understand. I turned so that I was facing him and crawled back in his lap. I wanted to be able to see his face when he explained what happened. It was a day that neither of us would ever forget, and I wanted to understand his emotions as well as my own.

"I thought you were going to chose him," he said as he looked out the window.

Suddenly I could feel his fear, as if it were my own, like a knife in my heart. I cringed slightly, and Jacob held me tighter.

"I know, Bella! You feel it too, don't you? I felt it from you, standing out there talking to him. You were confused and afraid. I thought it was my own emotions, but I saw it in your face. I was feeling _your_ fear, your confusion!" His eyes were bright as he explained the connection.

"I do… I feel it." I swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. It hurt to try to think of a reason he wouldn't want to imprint on me. Did he not want to spend the rest of his life with me?

"But Jake, I still don't understand. Why couldn't you imprint on me?"

"I think you had to chose me first. I had to know that given the choice you would chose me." He turned to face me, his eyes burning into mine.

As soon as he said it, I knew he was right. He had always been afraid that I would chose Edward over him.

I thought of Edward again and what he had seen in front of him and in Jacob's mind. The love I had for him was gone, but I didn't want to hurt him. "What all did he see?"

Jacob watched me, thoughtful. "He saw it all."

I remembered that Jacob could sense my anxiety but probably misinterpreted it. "I just don't want to hurt him."

He nodded, although obviously not agreeing.

I buried my face in his chest and sighed. Jacob didn't understand, and I didn't want to talk about Edward anymore. "So why can I fear your… your feelings? Sam never mentioned that at the bonfire."

"I'm not sure," he shrugged. "I'll have to ask him about it later."

"So what happens, exactly, when someone imprints on someone else? I mean, what next?"

"I'm not sure, Bells," Jake said, laughing a little and breaking the tension in the room. "It's a first for me, too. But I know what I'd like to do…" He eyed me cunningly.

I could feel his mood change within me, side by side with my own. I wondered if it was normal to feel your lovers emotions, or if it was just something that happened when you imprinted.

_Maybe neither. Maybe it was something extraordinary. _

I thought for a moment about our relationship. In the second where he imprinted our ties were stronger than any legal paperwork or religious ritual could create. Our love was perfect and undeniable. Someday we would be married and have children who could carry on the traditions and way of life of the Quileute tribe. Of Jacob's tribe. Of _our _tribe. And our children, if necessary, will have the ability to change their bodies to protect all of us.

Jacob's lips touched mine in a soft kiss before he slid me off his lap to sit on the bed. I stared at him as he stood in front of me. His strong, dark skin pulled tight over his bare chest, rising and falling with every breath he took. I could feel that he was nervous. My own heart started hammering in my chest as he knelt to one knee, taking my hand in his.

"Bella?" He started, looking deep into my eyes.

I couldn't control the deep red blush that took over my face. _He's going to propose! _Fear ripped through me before I could think to control it_. I don't want to get married yet! _

He realized his position and laughed slightly at my reaction, "Bella, no… I'm not proposing! Just listen!"

I relaxed at his words, exhaling a long breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"I have wanted this for so long, Bells. I knew I wanted to be with you the first time I saw you. Now we can love without fear. You and I are meant to be together, and this only proves what I've always known. I'm not asking you to marry me now, " he stifled a laugh, "but someday I would like to. I want to spend every day making you happy. You are the love of my life."

Tears were beginning to pool at the corners of my eyes, threatening to break lose. Every part of me wanted Jacob. I slid off the bed and into his arms, accidentally knocking him off balance. Together we tumbled to the floor, giggling at ourselves. "Jake," I said as I pushed myself to a sitting position on top of him. "I love you."

And with that I leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

The End.


End file.
